Under the Tuscan Sun

July 28, 2010

I sat on a chair facing the hills, in between deep thought and sleep.  I had one thing on my mind at this moment.  I dreamt of what it would be like to see Ken; “handsome, passionate, intelligent, successful, Ken”.  At least that is the image I had of him through the past two months of long-distance interaction via telephone, facebook, text messaging, snail mail, and video chatting.  We had been re-connecting through any and every virtual outlet we could.  It had been about 5 years since the last time I saw him, he was my brothers best friend and there was something about him that interested me so much, he had a story to tell.  I grew this infatuation towards being with him, and him to me.  He would tell me how he could see himself with me, he would send me postcards and pictures every day of what he was doing while he was living his life in Caen, France and I was living mine in Chicago.  As much as I hate to admit, I sort of rearranged my perfect little life in my head to accommodate to this fascinating French professor.  I was awoken from my daydream by my little cousin, Liam.  He was throwing “max”, his stuffed dog, in the air and catching him-even though half the time Max would land on a patch of grass around him.  I was daydreaming of Ken being next to me at this exact moment, how he would react, what he would do, what he would say.  I started getting a sick feeling in my stomach.  I should be happy, I should be smiling, instead I felt nauseous.  I flipped my sunglasses back over my eyes and played movies on my eyelids of what a wonderful trip this has been.  I get along with my family but each one of us is so different, and it’s not often we all get to take a vacation like this, especially all staying under one roof.  At some point I had fallen asleep, and was awoken by wet drops on my toes.  I flipped my glasses up and squinted to see Liam wringing out his now wet dog stuffed animal on my feet.  He had accidentally thrown him in the pool while I was sleeping, I giggled and turned my iPod back up and spent the remainder of the morning basking in the sun.

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